North of the Tension Line

What Writers Do When They Should Be Writing. A List

/ J. F. Riordan / 3 Comments

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  1. Decide to take dogs for walk.
  2. Look for sunglasses in purse.
  3. Go outside to see if sunglasses are on porch.
  4. Talk to neighbors for two hours over fence.
  5. Look for sunglasses on bedside table.
  6. Pick up t-shirt on bedroom floor.
  7. Notice box of new beach towels in guest room.
  8. Put away  new beach towels.
  9. Look for sunglasses in car.
  10. Make grocery list.
  11. Recharge computer.
  12. Check e-mail. Nothing from anyone.
  13. Look for sunglasses in tote bag.
  14. Wonder if sunglasses are still at bookstore from last night.
  15. Call bookstore.
  16. Wonder if sunglasses are at restaurant from last night.
  17. Call restaurant.
  18. Look for sunglasses in car again, focusing under seats.
  19. Talk to friend on phone.
  20. Look at plot map. Notice holes in plot.
  21. Ponder death.
  22. Empty purse on floor looking for sunglasses. Find emptied bottle of zinc tablets in bottom.
  23. Clean out purse. Pick off lint from zinc tablets. Return to bottle.
  24. Accidentally call book store from last week. Chat with proprietor.
  25. Decide to write blog post.
  26. Look for sunglasses in car again, focusing on trunk.
  27. Stare at blog screen.
  28. Send irritable e-mail to online company who keep sending surveys that flash at you when you’re trying to think.
  29. Look for sunglasses in tote bag again.
  30. Find two day old NY Times in tote bag.
  31. Do crossword puzzle in NY Times.
  32. Walk path from car to door, hoping to find sunglasses in grass.
  33. Rub tummy of Dog One.
  34. Stare at blog screen.
  35. Rub tummy of Dog Two.
  36. Look for sunglasses in different tote bag. Find sunglasses.
  37. Resolve to carry fewer tote bags.
  38. Don’t write a single thing all morning.
  39. Decide it’s too hot to take dogs for walk. Swimming would be better.
  40. Look for sunglasses.

Something You Don’t See Every Day

/ J. F. Riordan / 3 Comments

So, I had a book event for The Audacity of Goats at “A Room of One’s Own” in Madison on Sunday. People came, which is always nice.

But my own event notwithstanding, and apparently, unbeknownst to the general public, it was Food-Shaped Vehicle Driver Training Day at the Oscar Mayer plant.

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Note the license plate.

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There were also Mr. Planter’s Peanut vehicles, because, as every school child knows, it’s Mr. Planter’s 100th anniversary this year.

We asked one of the drivers about it, and he explained that there are only three peanut vehicles in the world. Since we hadn’t known that there were any, this came as a surprise.

“Are peanuts difficult to drive?” we asked.  He grinned. “It’s nuts!”

I imagine he’ll be saying that a lot this summer.

 

DOOR COUNTY LAUNCH CELEBRATION

/ J. F. Riordan

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I will be at Peninsula Bookman tonight, in Fish Creek, to sign books and chat.  Peter Sloma, the proprietor, has been a friend and font of wisdom since we first met a few years ago, and I am looking forward to seeing him–and you–there, from 6-8 pm.

I couldn’t find an inn that would take the dogs, though, so I’ll be traveling on my own.

Sigh.

 

Radio Interview

/ J. F. Riordan

“People are very friendly in small towns, but there is a dynamic in life in the small towns that is best understood from an outsider’s perspective,” says Milwaukee writer J.F. Riordan.

Listen to my interview with Lake Effect’s Mitch Teich here .

Milwaukee Book Launch at Boswell Book Company

/ J. F. Riordan
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Goat photo courtesy the Washington Post (Flickr/Bagsgroove)

Come and celebrate the publication of The Audacity of Goats with me at Boswell Book Company on Friday May 20th, at 7 pm.

You can buy your copy there, or pre-order.

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Support your local bookstore!

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Friday May 20 at 7 pm

Boswell Book Company

2559 N. Downer Ave.

Milwaukee, WI 53211

(From their website)

This is the only location. Don’t let a yellow pages tell you otherwise. The store is located on the same block as the Downer Theater, up the bluff from Lincoln Memorial Drive. They’re north of Columbia St. Mary’s Hospital and south of UWM. We’re also pretty much on the southernmost tip of Lake Drive.