But Still They Sing; Essays; Nature essays

A doll’s…house

/ J. F. Riordan / 20 Comments

I have an heirloom dollhouse that I have been saving for my two great nieces. I sent it with my niece and her husband when they stopped to visit us on their cross-country move from Seattle to Philadelphia. At the time, one of her daughters was about three, and she was newly pregnant with the second, so we agreed that they would save the dollhouse for a time when the girls were old enough to appreciate it.

This is the year.

It’s a big dollhouse, made of wood, with wallpapered rooms and big muntined windows. I think it dates to the early 1950s. I was not the first little girl to play with it. It had belonged to my father’s cousin, and then to her daughter.

I thought it would be nice to include a set of the right sized dolls. I had no idea how difficult this would turn out to be.

I tried the hand-made website; and the auction website; I visited the very few actual toy stores. Nothing quite right. They had dolls, but they were either hideously plastic or one step up from corn husks. Nothing that simply had a nice face and reasonably-shaped body.

So, reluctantly, I turned to the Seattle guys. They do have dollhouse dolls. But you know how the algorithms are. Even if you reject something it keeps showing up in your feed. There is no Boolean method of saying “But not that”. And there is a series of dolls that, at first glance, seemed nice. The dolls come in different ethnicities and ages. But the longer you look at them, the weirder they become.

Do you see what I mean?

I showed them to my friend at lunch to see if she noticed. Maybe it was just me. But, no. She started laughing. “What is with their crotches?”

Exactly. And once you see it, you cannot unsee it. And it doesn’t really make any sense, either. I mean…never mind.

My friend texted me later with a suggestion of some animal family dolls she came across. One great niece will get a kangaroo family, and one will get a giraffe family. They will have to co-inhabit.

Close enough.

Small Oversight

/ J. F. Riordan / 27 Comments

Life can be busy sometimes, what with eighth grade basketball practice, slope intercepts, multiple broken appliances, Christmas preparations, and hauling ten eighth-graders to and from an escape room. So somehow, we have managed to wait too long to buy our Christmas tree.

I bought a small one for the library as I do every year, and mostly handled it myself. But our main tree, the one that has to go to the ceiling, is more of a family project, and finding the right time to shop for it has been tricky.

I expressed my concern to my husband last night. “We live in Wisconsin,” my husband pointed out. “The land of Christmas trees.” And it’s true. The trees are harvested in August, then stored underwater in river beds until it’s time to ship across the country. But somehow the supply seems more limited than usual. We always buy our tree from a family who set up at the motel parking lot. They are from “Up North”. They are cheerful guys with rosy faces and thick Wisconsin accents. They are part of our tradition, and when their postcard comes every November we welcome it as a sign of the season. But when I drove past yesterday they only had two sizes left: Too small and WAYYY too big. The local Optimists Club, who sell trees to raise funds for scholarships, were also down to a dozen or so small, but pretty trees. Same with our family-run nursery, and the cut-your-own lot a bit out of town was already closed.

Now, as a confession, last year, when our worries about dried-out trees and fires were fresh in our minds, I bought a splendid fake tree from Balsam Hill. It looks very real, probably, and as a bonus, all the lights are already on it. I am stickler for lights, and yet it is a job I dread in both the putting-on and the taking-off of them. But somehow, for this Christmas with the family coming from France and Washington, it seems wrong to have a fake tree as our main tree. I just can’t seem to do it. And so, it’s still sitting in its box in our attic, doubtless inhabited by singing mice.

We will have to go on a tree hunt tonight after the basketball game. (What is the opposite of “undefeated”?)

It may come down to the fake tree after all.

Gratuitous Dog Photo

Auggie patiently snoozing while I work. No fire; it will be 55 degrees today.

Morning around here

/ J. F. Riordan / 15 Comments

There was a spectacular sky this morning. A front coming through created a sharp diagonal line of clouds moving against the hot pink and orange of sunrise. Two great horned owls conversed at some length. I bestirred myself from my writing and stepped out onto the back stairs to look out over the woods, listen, and breathe. It’s cool this morning, cool enough for snow. But there’s only rain in the forecast.

Eli did not bark at the grandson when he came downstairs. We never know with Eli. He has a strange case of situational amnesia. But now grandson’s off to school, and Eli’s cuddling with his gorilla. Auggie has finished staring at the treat jar because I stopped paying attention after four, and has now settled on the couch.

The day stretches ahead with many tasks.

All is well.

Crazy morning, but here is your gratuitous dog photo

/ J. F. Riordan / 26 Comments

Ten eighth-grade boys for a birthday party today. In two cars. One rental. Trip to airport. Escape Room, Sloppy Joes, taco dip, bags of candy, bags of chips, the token veggie tray, and custom cupcakes. I have no time for thoughts.

I did, however, receive a plush purple hooded blanket last night, with the words “World Greatest Grandma” emblazoned across the back like a prize fighter.

And I have penciled in my mini nervous breakdown for tomorrow. I may be wearing my new blanket.

And now for your gratuitous dog photo.

Eli’s in bed with Dad, but Auggie remains on duty.

Essential (as opposed to gratuitous)Dog Photos

/ J. F. Riordan / 43 Comments

I am still in a state of wonder over Auggie’s recovery, and seeing him here in his usual pose on the couch fills me with emotion. He is vigorous and joyous, insatiably hungry, and insatiably ball-mad. I have already lost track of the exact day we got the cone off him, so I went back to look at the photos on my phone, which I use as a diary of my life.

That’s when I came upon these, from the day the collar came off, less than a month ago. Until the stitches were out and healing, he was not allowed to come on the bed. This was upsetting to us all.

Until this moment, Auggie had never allowed Eli to love him before.

Dogs are pure soul.

Here’s Auggie this morning, all snoozy and safe.

I am grateful beyond words.

Read the Beginning of J.F. Riordan’s new novel, *A Small Earnest Question*

/ J. F. Riordan / 6 Comments
Book Four in the Award-winning North of the Tension Line series

The telephone rang in the sleek, city office of Victor Eldridge. As he reached to answer the pain came again with a deep, resounding blow that made it difficult to breathe. He braced his hands against his desk, waiting for it to pass as it always did. The ringing phone, mixed in the wake of his agony, was almost beyond bearing.

Victor Eldridge was not a religious man, but what he experienced now was as much of a prayer as he would ever utter. Please, let this be the end of it. Please let the pain stop.

He did not care how.

The ringing and the pain faded at the same moment, and it seemed as if the room echoed with both. He stayed frozen in position, his breathing shallow.

He straightened slowly and leaned back in his chair. There. His breath became deeper and he could feel his heartbeat slowing to its normal pace. His reason returning from the chaos of suffering, he began to think. He had much to do but very little time. The pain was gone. For now. But he knew it would come again.

And again.

***

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