Howling back

At this time of year, I try to spend the last hour of daylight where I begin my mornings: sitting in a big armchair in the library, watching the wildlife gather. Usually there are deer and turkeys, sometimes possums, always squirrels, and I find their antics endlessly interesting. I light a fire, and sometimes pour myself a glass of port. The play of light on the snow is beautiful whatever the weather.

But last night I was a little late, and it was nearly dark when I came to stand at the window and peer out. The turkeys were already roosting, and there were no deer. But there was a small shadowy form moving down by the bonfire pile. Eli saw it at the same time: coyote.

It’s been quite a while since we have seen or heard coyotes, and I have come to the conclusion that someone was secretly killing them. We used to have a neighbor—a former Navy Seal—who would stand on his porch and pick them off with a rifle after they attacked his dogs. But I have to confess, I do not hate coyotes. They are too much like dogs for me to feel any real animus toward them. Mostly, I feel compassion for these intelligent creatures who must survive in a world where they are so hated. But I have to be realistic: they are a real threat to our dogs, and to our neighbors’ dogs, one of whom is quite elderly and vulnerable. And if I caught any of them trying to harm Auggie or Eli, my reaction would not be benign. You might think big German Shepherds would not be in danger, but a few years ago there were news reports that a pack of coyotes in our neighborhood chased two Malinois—who are far more ferocious than a GSD—right up to their back door.

So, following the advice of the experts, I went out to scare it off. The hill is steep and snow covered, so I stood at the top of the hill and did what any self-respecting opera singer would do. I projected. “You! Get out! You get out of here! You!” I could hear my voice resonating through the woods, and could only guess what our elusive neighbors to the north—the ones in the new house who wave from their Teslas but whom we have never met—must think. The coyote startled, stared, and ran off into the woods. I felt sorry for it, but I went inside laughing under my breath, wondering whether my husband’s audience on national tv had heard.

About five minutes later the coyote was back. I scared it off again, but it was harder this time, and I knew I was teaching it not to be afraid of me.

After dinner I looked out and there was the long-tailed black shadow, lying in the snow to eat, just as Auggie lies with his bowl on the kitchen floor. My husband had an insanely early interview and had already gone to bed in the guest room, so it was up to me. I stood at the windows watching. It was a fairly plump coyote, which didn’t really match the way it was eating, and I wonder whether it was a pregnant female. Coyote pups are born in February, and here we are in the last week of January.

I had been texting our neighbors to the south, and we considered what to do. He offered to bring his gun to scare it off. (Most definitely not to shoot it.) Shooting off guns in the night these days can be fairly disquieting to anyone who doesn’t know what’s going on, and I had misgivings. But we really can’t have a coyote hanging around to eat, and later bringing her pups. So, they came, tromping through the woods in big boots, and I met them outside, while Auggie and Eli watched suspiciously from the comfort of the house.

Reluctant to shoot, we yelled to scare her off again, and this time she ran deep into the woods. We watched until we couldn’t see her blue eyes sparkling in the light of the flashlights. And then we heard four tiny pips, not full howls. “Maybe we should howl back as a territorial thing,” someone suggested. It’s not flattering, but the howling seemed like a job for me. So, I pipped back, mimicking what we had heard, and then I let out a long fluctuating yodel, modeled on the kind Moses used to give. We waited in silence. I howled again. Auggie and Eli barked ferociously, and in the distance we could hear the neighbors’ dogs barking inside their house. This went on for a minute or two. It was kind of fun.

I learned later that my husband was upstairs in the guest room laughing. He knows me too well.

After a long silence, we stood on the hill, watching and talking over the options, and finally said good night without a shot fired. I went inside to pour a glass of wine and put on my pajamas. As I went into the library to turn off the lights, I looked out into the woods.

There was the coyote, lying on her tummy in the dark, ravenously eating birdseed.

I let her be. Hungry creatures touch my heart.

Nevertheless, it’s time to recharge the paintball cartridges. They are harmless, but they hurt. It’s not good for anyone when coyotes are fearless around humans. Least of all for the coyotes.

Double Dog Birthday

Today was the day we celebrated the birthdays of both Pete and Moses. The date for Moses was precise, but the date for Pete was an approximation. So we made it more festive by putting them together. We remember them with love and joy. (These dog photos are not gratuitous.)

A request of my readers

I was asked recently to assist in a list of book club questions for my latest collection of essays, But Still They Sing. Normally, I can rattle these things off easily, but I’m a bit too close to this one, and possibly a bit too distracted. Yesterday I opened the flatware drawer and found I had put a pot lid in it.

I’m wondering whether any of you have suggestions. Please reply in the comments, or, if you find that tricky, send them to me via email to northofthetensionline@gmail.com.

Many thanks!

And now for your gratuitous dog photo. Here’s my faithful Auggie, keeping me company on a sleepless night.

No Golden Dogs

Ah, Monday. Blessed-nothing-planned-no-appointments-on-the-calendar Monday.

We traveled for the holiday, and while it is always good to see family, it is also good to be at home in your own bed, and then waking to watch the sun rise, with the silhouettes of deer and turkeys in the woods, and the sweet soft breathing of big dogs nearby.

When I had a day job my Sundays were filled with dread. On Monday mornings I would stand at the big windows of my bedroom looking out at the beauties of the woods and sky, feeling bereft at having to leave for the demands of the classroom or office.

Now my schedule is mostly my own. And because I have always hated that Sunday feeling, I try to never schedule anything on a Monday. I write in the mornings, and reserve afternoons for appointments, errands, exercise, and domestic tasks. Lately, however, in what seems to be some kind of mechanical conspiracy, we have been on a breaking-down appliance spree, so my autonomy has been interrupted by lengthy bouts of dishwashing and repairmen who schedule their appearances in five hour appointment windows. Today, I have nothing planned except writing, walking the dogs, and making beef stew. There will also be a long, fragrant bath. A perfect day. I hope.

But we never know, do we? Our expectations of perfection are mostly disappointed, and since disappointment is a form of ingratitude, it would be graceless not to appreciate the imperfect blessings of our real lives, no?

And this brings me to My Dog Pete, the children’s book I finally got around to publishing this year after more than a decade of leaving it to languish in a file in my office.

My husband, who is a man of deep insights, recently pointed out to me that the book contains the philosophy of a happy life. I heard this with some surprise, because I was only telling a story, not trying to convey a moral. In the book, a little girl wants a perfect, golden dog who will be handsome and admired. Instead, she gets a mixed-breed, mischievous shelter dog who was probably abused, leaps as gracefully as a gazelle, and smells a little funny. She doesn’t want him. But–spoiler alert–against all her heartfelt preferences, she falls in love with him.

So often in life, when things don’t live up to our expectations, we are frustrated and disappointed. And yet, most of the time, what we get–even though it isn’t perfect–is still something good, and we are lucky to have it.

We must notice the good things we are so blessed to have. Ingratitude is a sin, and in most theologies perfectionism is, too, because it is a focus on self-will and the ego. And also because for most of the world, sadness and misery is a normal day. So now, when one of us doesn’t get exactly what we hoped for or expected, we say to one another: “I wanted a golden dog.” And we remember to relax into the reality of imperfection that is still filled with many beautiful things; many blessings.

After all, in real life we didn’t expect it, but we got Pete. And we wouldn’t have changed him for any other dog in the world.

Hoping you had a Happy Thanksgiving.

Pete, in one of his (many) stubborn moments.
My Dog Pete is available exclusively at Amazon.