The adults on my side of the family are in a quandary about Christmas gifts. We don’t see each other very often since I am the only one not on the east coast. Some of us love the spirit of the thing, and love the connection of everyone giving something to everyone. Some are concerned about the cost. Some of us live carefully edited lives, either by choice or by circumstance (i.e., a tiny NY apartment). Some of us don’t edit, and therefore have too much stuff.
What to do? If any of you have come upon a nice solution beyond simply exchanging names, please offer your advice. Lest you think we are keeping this to the last minute, we are.
But we’ve been debating since last year.
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Today’s gratuitous dog photo:
By the way, it can be complicated to comment or like a post here. But if you sign up for WordPress and/or get their app, it is much simpler. Just a thought.
J.F. Riordan 
“..Is my nose REALLY that big? ..That must be why everyone is always trying to give it a kiss!” – Auggie 😁😊🐶
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Anxious to hear the ideas!
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Re: holiday gifting, altho it may seem less personal, gift certificates/gift cards can fit. That allows recipient to decide whether to add physical items to their space, or use it for an experience (dining, outing, museum). A carefully-selected gift card can still feel personal if it is chosen with the recipient’s interests in mind (books, specialty food, hobby, kitchen, and so on).
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For some years now, I have given out Amazon gift cards in a nice holiday card in an envelope. Everyone seem to enjoy it, they can get what they truly want. I was worried it might lose of the festivity.
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My family has struggled with the same problem, so here is our solution. We divide up into groups of three with people who are in the same age range and sex. Then that group buys for each other. Everyone gets two gifts as a result, except for the young childen. Everyone gives gifts to them, but they can be fairly inexpensive. For years we all gave to everyone, but as the family grew, that became very expensive and time-consuming, making Christmas unnecessarily stressful. Christmas should be a time of joy!
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Good morning!
I so enjoy seeing your emails in the morning. Puppy pictures are always a welcome addition to the day. My grandpuppies are receiving a Pete book for Christmas which makes my heart happy.
Thank you for cheering up so many people with your words and pictures
Flynn
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My adult family stopped exchanging tangible gifts a few years ago. We don’t need anything. Trying to by the right color, size, etc then ship it was taking the joy out of gift giving. We make donations to our or recipient’s favorite charity and then ( the most important part) explain why charity is important to the giver. Of course, nothing political. We all agreed to this and we follow it exactly
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We’ve done the same here for years. We do pick a charity/non-profit that has impacted us, so local hospice, animal shelters, ALS and cancer charities have our hearts already.
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My family also makes a donation un lieu of gifts.
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My husband and his 2 brothers now exchange wine still gives you the chance to pick a wine with a story
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Interesting dilemma. Our family used to exchange gift by selecting a name and then getting a list of items that person wished to have for Christmas. At the time it was all adults. We have since moved to a yearly charity donation. We select a charity and any every person in the family is asked to make a certain dollar amount donation to that charity. Its all done on the honor system. Now that there are small children in the family, each family buys something for each of the small kids so when we celebrate Christmas Eve, they all get an early Christmas present. We also do a white elephant gift exchange for the adults.
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The “adults” in our extended family are all in our 70s. In the past we’ve exchanged consumable gifts like boxes of cheese, fruit, or other foods, or books. None of us need or want anything, and there have been times that we’ve discovered months-old gifts of food that had to be thrown out.
This year we agreed among ourselves to skip the gifts but have a big zoom call on Christmas with everyone.
The next generation is all in their 30s and honestly we’ll probably give money since that’s what they can use most. None of them have reproduced yet, but if and when that happens we’d probably give a book and a contribution to a 529 plan.
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Donations to favorite charities is a nice idea. You do good, you feel good, and there’s no clutter!
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My brothers and I stopped giving gifts years ago and asked everyone to donate money or gifts to organizations that help those that are less fortunate. Out of four siblings there are no grandchildren and only one niece who is now 30. So it works since there are no small children.
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Hi
My family opted to exchange names and it went well. As we were aging and the space/edit/need issues arose we added a rule that the gifts had to be consumable but we cheated and included books!
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Oh, my, that picture of Auggie is adorable. Giving his nose a Boop! Would that I could actually give you a Boop sweet Auggie. How about a Secret Santa? You each anonymously pick one name? Of course, for the little ones, we all get them something.
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No suggestion here … I gift to a select handful only.
Auggie is so cute … what was the moment of him covering his nose?
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It was itchy.
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Friends introduced us to their tradition, intended to rein in excess: stockings. Whatever you give has to fit in a stocking, and when we gather on Christmas Eve, those “loaded” stockings are exchanged. It’s fun to get a new stocking each year (and thankfully they are on sale for 60% off right about now) and you never leave the celebration with too much stuff. Or too much wrapping strewn around the room!
PS Eli’s snoring is adorable.
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Set $limit $10-15As seen online/or something, gag gifts, yard/kitchen tools, whatever Wrap gift, people pick gift, by age? Alphabetical by name? Group decides Next gift picker can KEEP gift or EXCHANGE with any previous gift picker, and that person has to give up original gift and keep “new” one Sometimes it’s really funny since a “weird” gift can get passed around a lot My cousins do this every yearCheri BrownSouth Bend IN Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone
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That sounds like fun.
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Each year my family designates “the person of the year” who then chooses a cause that is important to them and we all contribute to that cause. Everyone donates the amount they want to that particular charity/cause, sometimes in the family name – a part of a saving a local trail, etc. It has been a wonderful way to deepen knowing family members. We now have the rotating list, and it is more fun when the chooser shares a bit about the cause and what it means to them.
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My favorite gift is a letter in a card. Food is always good. We were given a big box from a store called Zingerman’s last year, and my son and daughter in law enjoyed Williams Sonoma chocolate croissants they kept in the freezer to heat up whenever they wanted one! We’ve also received fruit. I’d like to stop exchanging with adults.
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Liz Cheney’s book.
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Everyone should read it.
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My family gives donations to favorite charities in that person’s name. Some of us ask which charities person wants. Others, like me pick one and give all of the donation to it in whole family’s name. I picked Paws With A Cause
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We each donate to a charity in that person’s name. Rather than ask each person for their choice, I gave my whole budget to one charity, Paws With A Cause, in whole family’s name.
We have also done Yankee Swap, but my nephews, who are in their 20s, didn’t think they should have to buy their contribution with their own money. Seriously? Oldest just bought a house!
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My parents and my sister have everything. I used to just give to my nieces and nephews. Now I just give to my great nieces! I think the younger kids should have the fun with Santa!
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Give gifts of food. It’s thoughtful and won’t take up space for long.
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Another suggestion would be to give the gift of an experience, whether movie tickets, a spa day, or something else the recipient would enjoy. I gave my mom a gfit card that could be used at participating shops and restaurants in a small town close to her (a program the town started during COVID to support shopping locally). You can set a dollar amount for everyone to adhere to if cost is a factor.
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You could all just draw a name then you donate to a charity of that persons choice on their behalf.
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Our family uses the Elfster app which will organize a name draw and allows anyone in the group to see the gift lists. It also allows for exclusions, ie-you can exclude your spouse so that you don’t get their name.
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Years ago my family realized we don’t need “things” and/or “stuff” so we send a donation to a favorite charity, in the person’s name, instead of buying gifts. We’ve been doing this for years.
Happy holidays and Happy 2024 to you and your family.
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Everyone makes a donation to their favorite charity and we discuss it at dinner. Fir gift exchange, everyone limited to $20-$25 gift. Must he something you personally use or enjoy and gift is put under tree anonymously. After everyone gets a gift, stealing ensues and then we guess who bought the gift.
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We exchange consumable items, usually food related. For Instance, we visited a maple syrup farm on the North Shore of Minnesota this year and everyone is getting a beautiful maple leaf glass bottle of Minnesota maple syrup. Every year I try to send a favorite thing or something we discovered that year. thank you for the gratuitous pictures. They amke my day.
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I have to say, I still like a surprise on Christmas, and having lost parents and brother, only have one son and two granddaughters…. So I don’t have much of a family to worry about. But there is a circle of friends. We pick a type of present (recent ones include candles, foody things, or Christmas decoration) – set a monetary limit for everyone to stick to, and pick names – and post one parcel. I still buy books for my granddaughters (yes physical books) and offer other adults a choice of real book or a kindle book. There are books of yours which have made it into Christmas presents over the years!
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Well, I heartily approve your idea of gift-giving.
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Hi, Enjoy each and every one of your essays and gratuitous photos.
Our family gift giving tradition has evolved over the many years. Starting with everyone getting a gift, on average 15 to 20 at $50 max a piece, yes expensive! And then picking names. And now, it’s the gathering of family and that’s the gift. And when I do give, it’s consumables…a beeswax candle, local jams, spices, honey.
Enjoy your day, diane
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My son is in Germany and after his Dad passed away last year in December, we decided to do a Christmas box from America and split the cost. He wanted to have something to open and it exciting for the children as well. I also enjoyed wrapping some well chosen gifts instead of purchasing online.
I do think it is nice to have a little something to unwrap.
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I agree.
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Thank you for the suggestion to sign up for WordPress app, I need the simpler method. By the way I’m really enjoying your e-mails and pictures of the germans.
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