Would “dangling with a chain saw” make a good book title?

/ J. F. Riordan

Our property is almost entirely wooded, and the trees have a way of creating their own little ecosystem. It can be warm and sunny elsewhere, but when you turn in our driveway the shade envelopes you, dropping the temperature, delaying the melting of ice and snow, and, in the summer, providing sanctuary to far too many flying insects.

The shade in our house is so ubiquitous that I have chosen the color schemes to maintain a warm coziness, lest the leaves turn everything inside green in summer. In winter, the bright sunlight is a welcome change.

Maintaining this property is a bit like managing a park, and sometimes it means making some hard decisions. This week we are having to take down a healthy sugar maple—which truly pains me—but it was leaning perilously over the house, and after our recent heavy snow and ice, it became clear that it was us or the tree.

Enter Johanna. She runs a small tree care company, and recently won a state championship for her climbing and cutting skills. She is not someone we call for the minor things, but I trust her implicitly with the big stuff. Her calm cheerfulness is warm and reassuring, even as she is dangling from a rope and holding a chain saw.

She has colleagues who manage the ropes, feed the chipper, and help to make sure she is safe, but she does the climbing. Her team will be here for at least three days, felling the tree, cleaning up the storm damage, and cabling another big sugar maple to ensure its stability.

Whenever she is here I am distracted by a compulsion to watch her work. It isn’t something you see every day, and, frankly, her courage dazzles me. So, today may not be a very productive day, but it will certainly be an entertaining one.

30 thoughts on “Would “dangling with a chain saw” make a good book title?”

  2. Today’s article brought a laugh! Yesterday I stared at the picture over and over and thought it looked like a person in the tree, but I actually thought you were showing one of your turkeys! And when you said “she”, I assumed it was a hen turkey! Those tree climbers (human and avian!) are so impressive and fascinating to watch! Hard to pull away from the scene.

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  3. As our community is built on a golf course, we have some really, really big trees… and, like you, it’s a very unproductive day when they come around and trim… fortunately, not too often… so I just take the day as a mental health day! Works for me! 🙂 C

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  10. :)) to the title!!

    Our last place was in the woods. Def. all the pros and cons you mentioned, in addition, the higher humidity that being so closed in by woods created.

    There was also a drop off which was nice in that you could see higher in the trees, even more so when on the 2nd floor…it was a bit magical.

    I wanted something like that again in our next place, to keep the house cooler by 15 degrees in summer and also little lawn maintenance…..while hoping to also be more open to allow it to breathe better.

    We are now on a flag lot, surrounded by woods, but with a too LARGE unwanted lawn surrounding the house and too many gardens. Some, we have let go of…undesired high maintenance. The previous owner said they gave his wife headaches!. YEP!:). Def. an added stress and work come spring through to the following winter. Winter is a nice break!:))

    With no shade trees, which i really miss for so many reasons, we are now hot in summer to a point where the house has to be closed up too much of the year.

    However, we do still have privacy which is an essential we feel now and it is not near as musty as the last place got in summer as it breathes much better here.

    I have special needs that were very hard to meet, and while all not met, this is what we ended up with.

    I would love it to be more open in the back, to draw the eye out and through, and to see a bit of sunset….. but would require too much $$ in the clearing and disruption of the manicured property to get in and out.

    the area we are in is closed, mountainous and not very open…..i do miss the openness, sunrise, sunset, vast sky and clouds.

    I have thought about letting the lawn all go to natural field, but the yellow pollen from rag weed, etc. would then be an issue, and my husband likes the lawn.

    Tree pollen is a LOT better here with the distance from the trees, though we still can get green inside as we are surrounded by woods all along the perimeter.

    The bugs here were worse initially than what they became in later years at our last place, which was A LOT better than the initial years there, where EVERY part of you had to be covered up! Do not know why they got so much better there.

    We are in a wet area in this new location, but mild drought here made it better in recent years. Next year may be very different as last was very wet!

    We have tiny biting black flies for 6 weeks in spring…just when you want to get out! Do not know that we would have moved up here had we known about them.

    We were looking for cleaner air and that we have!:)

    I do love nature. I love fresh air. But I do not like outdoor bugs!:)))

    However, I am not squeamish to a degree. If there is a spider or leaf footed bug in the house…i sometimes will leave them be. I sometimes will bring them outside.

    (BTW, A lg flock of turkeys is outside as I write this.)

    below…we changed things up a bit…the property is now simpler as previous owner had a railroad track and building to store the train etc on it…but this is birds eye view from their real estate listing…

    

    My niece’s sister in law climbs the giant sequoias to gather samples to study them for preservation. https://www.wendylbaxter.com/about

    

    I find her ‘about’ on her website an interesting read….

    https://www.wendylbaxter.com/about About canopy scientist and filmmaker Wendy Baxter who studies giant sequoias and coast redwoods wendylbaxter.com

    best……

    >

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  12. Holy carp! That is amazing. I’m petrified of heights, and I’m scared of chainsaws, so that’s a convergence of nightmarish proportions.

    I have a quick story: I popped over to see a neighbor, who was changing a lightbulb in the porch of her barn. She was standing on the top of a ladder (right where it says DO NOT STAND), on her tiptoes, stretching up with one arm to reach. I was frightened on her behalf, but she didn’t get it. I asked her if she was worried at all, and she glanced around casually and responded with a “nope.” Ah, but this lady is an astronaut, and she flew Black Hawk helos in the Army, and this was nothing that would turn a hair.

    You never know what people are capable of doing.

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  13. A lot of the companies around here come in with a man-lift rather than climb. Having witnessed multiple people in our neighborhood having their property rutted by man-lifts, climbing is much friendlier to the yard.

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  14. That is one amazing woman. And, to tell you the truth, it never occurred to me that a woman would do this sort of thing. I know that sounds sexist, and I really don’t mean it to, but I always think of big, hairy men with mustaches, cutting down trees. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Brava Johanna! Women can truly do it all. Please let her know she is much admired. I do feel bad for Eli, though. I know those loud noises can be scary. Good thing he has his new blanket to cuddle up in. ❤️

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  17. I had to take down an almost 80 year old Aleppo Pine a few years back (airborne virus killed it😭) and watching the guy swinging around up there, tying off and cutting branches and swinging them to the ground guys was FASCINATING! I watched the entire 3 hours….

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  22. Last summer I spent a fascinating day watching a crew work on the trees in my yard, removing the dead and scary and trimming some of the giants. They went up and down in the tree truck bucket (which looked like great fun) and climbed big oaks with chainsaw in hand (which did not). They cut the trunks into manageable lengths and put the rest in the chipper. Then they raked up the mess! Those people earned every cent. We probably should have paid extra for the entertainment. And since I am guessing you’d never write horror, dangling with a chainsaw would make a wonderful title!

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  23. We live in a neighborhood with a lot of big houses that have old trees. There are two large ones in the outer shared yard area of our townhome group. Most of the tree trimmers hired around here still climb trees to trim them. Some companies do have buckets for trimming trees that are close to the street, and the Chicago city crews that trim trees on the parkway areas use buckets. It is fascinating to watch them work. Watching the wood chippers grind up huge branches is also fun, though I would think that noise must really bother Eli.

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  24. At first I thought the title would be of the Texas Chain Saw Massacre genre, but after reading your essay about Johanna I’ve changed my mind. It could be an amazing title for one of those bodice ripper books. I recently learned the phrase bodice ripper. Here’s a starter
    “Their eyes meet as she made the last cut with her chainsaw. The branch plummeted to the ground landing mere inches from the new neighbor. What was he thinking? She would deal with him soon. Oh yes, she would deal with him……”🤣🤣🤣.
    In all seriousness, tree cutters are fascinating. I’ve witnessed several in action over the years.

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  25. Sadly you are correct, the sugar maple has to go. But it’s wonderful to have a capable woman doing the difficult work. Women can do anything! Please take some videos and yes, a chapter for your book will be in order 💕

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  26. Those are tall trees; the scene is riveting with Johanna dangling in them by a rope skillfully doing her job. She’s worth every penny doing this very necessary task.

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