Yin and Yang

/ J. F. Riordan

Earlier this week I wrote about busy, athletic Auggie’s very occasional need to snuggle. Eli, too, has a need to snuggle, but for him that means All. The. Time.

Eli is the cuddliest, mildest-tempered, neediest dog I have ever known. I have no doubt this is due to his having been brought home days before the COVID lockdown. We were not able to socialize him properly, and he depended entirely upon our small household for everything. Most of the time he is submissive to Auggie’s leadership, but lately, as Auggie approaches his seventh birthday and begins to slow down a bit, Eli has started asserting himself.

This is mostly noticeable in their rivalry for our attention. When Auggie asks for a scratch or a pat, Eli uses his considerable bulk to wedge himself between us and Auggie. We have to physically push him away to prevent him from blocking Auggie altogether.

So, of course, the night after Auggie cuddled up close, Eli decided it was his turn. He was waiting, all curled up on my pillow when I came to bed, and although he moved politely when asked, he came right back as soon as I had settled, and lay his big head on my shoulder. He sighed deeply, his breath in my ear, and promptly fell asleep. You know the old joke: Where does a 300 pound gorilla sleep? Well, that fairly describes Eli, even though he is only a modest 140 pounds. His father weighs the same, and I attribute both his weight and his demeanor to genetics, even as I carefully monitor his food, and feed him extra vegetables. After our experience with high-energy demanding Auggie, I did ask for a puppy with low drive. We got one.

Eli’s shyness is a handicap. He is terrified of anything he can interpret as thunder, which can be fireworks, a passing jet overhead, the rumble of a garbage truck, or the sliding door of a van. Or, of course, gunshots. We hear gunshots fairly regularly, and it’s legal. But Eli doesn’t care. When our arborist team was here, the sound of logs being thrown into the truck bed were equally terrifying.

I used to follow the advice of dog experts and try to distract him with routine commands, or games, or dancing. I tried everything, and none of it worked. So now I do what I should have been doing all along: I make myself available to calmly snuggle him if he wants, and allow him to hide in his secret places if he prefers that. When he gets an idea in his head, he’s pretty difficult to dissuade, but increasingly, when he’s afraid he just comes and sits with his head in my lap. I’m fine with that, and he is, too.

He is also reactive to other dogs, which we continue to work on with some success. Our trainer described him as “a kid who doesn’t know how to shake hands,” and that description fits, because Eli doesn’t have a single mean bone.

Today, while I played “Boo” with Auggie, Eli trotted nearby, sometimes with his ball, but mostly uninterested in it. For the last 15 minutes or so, he just sat by the door, watching and waiting for us to come inside so he could have his snack and snuggle back into bed. Auggie, indefatigable, did the slow walk of doom back to the house, dropping his green ball disconsolately at the door.

And now, I’m off to work, happy to have them both—yin and yang—nearby for comfort: Eli sound asleep, and Auggie lying by the door, just in case anyone should happen to open it.

27 thoughts on “Yin and Yang”

  4. I miss your posts on twitter but these long form posts on the boys are a treat. I’m sorry about Eli’s noise fears. Our girl was afraid of a lot when we got her—people, bikes, crowd noise, etc. We worked most of it out. I thank God that at least she didn’t have noise fears. It’s got to be the hardest one to work on. Sounds like you’ve found a comforting routine for him. ❤️

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  8. You write so eloquently and beautifully about your amazing dogs. About many other things too, but the essays about the dogs—so heartfelt and caring. Thank you for sharing your skill and talent.

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  9. I love your essays and subjects but I too love your dog stories. I too live with two dogs (though I haven’t lived with a GSD since my childhood). I have a rescue from Afghanistan who had the worst PTSD ever, and I have a Great Pyr from a possibly-not-good breeder, who is the most nervous, suspicious pup I’ve ever had. I read him Eli’s story. He looked suspicious. But you are absolutely right about the cuddling! That is what both of them needed/need. Me too!
    Thank you for letting me be part of your Place of Stillness and Wonder and Beauty.

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  11. You have the most wonderful life with these two very delightful lads. Each with their own individual personalities, but both filled with love and respect for you, and I’m sure your husband, too. Always an adventure with Auggie and Eli. ❤️❤️ Thank you for sharing them with us.

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  12. Each day Auggie and Eli enjoy different moments and adventures with their Mom and Dad. A gift of pleasure they bring to you with their unique personalities. Very handsome boys too! Happy weekend all.

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  15. Auggie & Eli are 2 awesome pups!
    I think Moses was your Roman General and you were his Emperor. He was dutiful and all he required from you in a situation with a new thing or person was your “thumbs up” or “thumbs down”. Pete needed your affection.. and lots of treats! ( I think Eli adored Pete kinda like he adores you.) 😊🐶🐾🍖

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  17. I love your stories about your boys. I find myself smiling after I read them. I look for you every morning. You have such a gift and I hope you never stop sharing. Have a wonderful day.

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  18. Their personality (very evident they each have an individual personality!) quirks are so different from one to another. We’ve had “calm, laid back”; “get near my people and I’ll eat you at a moment’s notice”; “let’s WALK NOW!” NOW!”; and currently really clingy (glad to be) rescue who we are trying to switch from “hooman male master” to “yes, Zuki, you’re Karen’s girl now”….every one (7 so far) a truly different fur-person. They teach us things we should learn more easily; devotion, dependence, love, and that “head in your lap” contentment.

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  20. You could be describing our rescue dog, Beau. He’s a little guy – looks doxie pin. He joined our family on Memorial Day 2020. He was still recovering from injuries he received after being attacked by larger dogs. He is scared of everything resembling thunder. Fireworks and gun shots are the worst. The other night he heard a neighbor pulling their garbage can over gravel, and it caused instant panic. Like you, we’ve learned to just be there for him. He will huddle closely trembling all the while. Interestingly, Beau is not afraid of other dogs. Doesn’t matter how big they are, he growls and is on alert. I have friends with two children, and they are usually very different. So it must be with our four footed family members. Ying and yang indeed.

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      • William, my 8 year old American Cocker, is the sweetest softest guy, but he is very reactive with bigger dogs if he is on the leash. He does not do this when he is with his dog walkers, who are both male, so wondering if it’s a protection thing. I usually just keep treat in my pocket and attempt to distract him as nothing else has worked so far. Love your doggy stories!

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