The Sword of Damocles

/ J. F. Riordan

Writing bad poetry is a pastime shared with youth and age. I will spare you mine, but intense emotion always draws it out of me, and I hide it as if it were an addiction to drink or pornography. I am so grateful that Auggie is home. And he is back. This is not redundant.

His stitches are out; the cone is off; his obsession with balls is unabated; he is romping nearly at full speed, and he seems to have a new appreciation for home, and bed, and snuggles. He is insatiably hungry; all I do is feed him. I don’t even need to tempt him. He is healing and his body needs to rebuild.

We almost lost him more than once, and we are so grateful to have him back, whole in every meaningful sense of the word, and sound. But he seems to have muted just the smallest bit, noticeable only to those who know him, and suddenly he is no longer young and immortal, but middle-aged and vulnerable like the rest of us.

We took him in for a check-up and sat studying the veterinary wall chart on dog sizes and lifespans. At six, Auggie is now well into middle age, and his life may be more than half over. His family have lived to twelve and fourteen. While that makes me vulnerable to hope, those ages are not common for big dogs, and Auggie is a lean 112 pounds. Mortality lingers in the background for all of us, but dogs have those first sparkling years, and then the slow sadness creeps in too quickly.

I used to scoff at people who said they couldn’t endure the pain of losing another dog. Now, I’m starting to get it.

But meanwhile, here they both are: vibrant, restless, and ready to run. I’d better go.

50 thoughts on “The Sword of Damocles”

  2. I was thinking of Auggie this morning and a little while later, received your update. So glad to hear he’s on the mend! I understand the change that comes with middle age in our pups. It is sad but also makes us grateful he is still here. I still think of my Ace and lately it’s been daily. He’s been gone 2.5 years now but my love for him remains. He was such a gift. 

    Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone

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  5. So good to hear Auggie is back and doing so well. As we get older, time flies by so much faster. The 13 years I had with my dog and the 19 years with my cat flew by in an instant. I’ve learned to cherish every moment because time is fleeting.

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  9. So glad he is doing well. I have always loved the posts on Twitter and the pictures. Have you thought about joining Threads. It’s much more friendly than Twitter.

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  10. Something to be so grateful for this Thanksgiving. I am so happy to see Auggie back to his old self. Treasure every day that he graces your life. Their lives are so short which makes me love them so much more.

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  11. As someone who has had many dogs (including fosters that were in and out) over the last 34 years, I know what the scare of almost losing one feels like. And it’s always hard for those of us who prefer to live with bigger dogs, as their time with us is more limited. Glad Auggie is on the mend, and here’s to hoping he has the amazing lifespan of his canine family – he certainly has enough personality to keep the next several years entertaining!!

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  12. Tempered good news is still good news. Enjoy the coming holidays with your boys. My gorgeous lab is now 10 and I am acutely aware that our precious time together is slipping away. He is the dog of my retirement so we have been a constant for each other. So we will totally immerse ourselves in today. I do miss you on twitter.

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  13. It is so wonderful to hear from you. You are sorely missed each and every day. And, I am immensely happy to hear how well Auggie is doing now. He’s so special to so many people. Auggie and Eli lift our spirits and now those two can folic together once again. This Thanksgiving will be especially meaningful to you, I’m sure, with Auggie well and able to enjoy his Thanksgiving meal. Please hug and kiss them from all of us.

    Also, may I please ask, are you messaging on any of the numerous other sites? I’d like to follow you. I wish you and your family the happiest of Thanksgivings.

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  15. Could you please leave us a photo or two of your happy pups? We are glad Auggie is better. It is a tough world, hope you can post tnoughts and pics occasionally. Happy Thanksgiving!

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  16. It is wonderful to learn the good news about Auggie. Our digs gives us so much love and joy, we all wish they could live forever! I wish you and your family a wonderful Holiday season! Love to Auggie and Eli👋Twitter, I mean X, is not the same without you!

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  17. I understand the worry over losing him. My 2 (Italian Greyhounds) caught a respiratory bug. Romeo was worse than his sister. This bug is all over Florida and some other states. It s worse out west where dogs end up with pneumonia and die. Dogs who aren’t around other dogs (like mine) are catching this. I thought I was going to lose him. He is getting better. On antibiotics and steroids. I’m glad Auggie is doing better.

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  20. Your post is full of joy and great news about Auggie. I am delighted for Auggie and his humans. And I agree that seeing our beloved companions pass on is more raw as we ourselves get older. The grief is painful and I have said that I can’t do this again in an effort to avoid the pain. Blessings on your family, no matter the number of legs, in this time of Thanksgiving.

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  23. Such great news that he’s back. I know the pain of losing & almost losing a beloved pet. They’re family & not easily replaced, if ever. We chose not have any more pets after we lost our last two. We just can’t endure that pain again.

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  24. So glad to hear that Auggie is back. Our pets are our chosen families and mean so much more because of their short time with us. Hope you and your family have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

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  27. Probably what they said about Michael Jordan’s comeback applies to Auggie here..
    “He’s lost a step.. Now he is only 2 steps ahead of everyone else.” 😊🎾

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  28. so happy to hear Auggie back in action
    thank you for the update, I worry about this guy like he was my very own
    it’s greatly appreciated

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  29. So great to hear from you, and to know Auggie is progressing nicely. I miss your posts so much. I hope you know so many of us care about you, Charlie, and Auggie and Eli! I hope you have a blessed Thanksgiving!

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  32. Oh my goodness. I’ve been searching all the socials for you, but never thought to check for a blog here!! I’m so relieved to have found you and see that Auggie is out of danger. There was just the faintest whiff of something awry with him as far as I could recall from Twitter, but I’m glad to see that all is well now. Or, at least, as well as can be.

    I can only imagine the grief for your poor grandson had things not turned out well. Yikes! Good luck getting his brother to stay when it’s his turn!

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  34. thank you for such a wonderful e-mail. It was full of life’s experiences, even if they are stressful or sad. It is all a part of life. I owned two big dogs, golden retrievers. The first died of cancer at 10 and I was physically in such pain. The second one lived to 15 and I was grateful to have had her those 5 extra years. I’m glad everybody at your house is on the mend, which includes people and animals. Happy Thanksgiving.

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  35. It is the saddest part of loving our fur family. My 13 year old Lab is declining. Still wags that tail though. Love to you and the three boys. Sylvia

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  36. You write beautifully about what we all feel every time we are faced with the death of our beloved pet family. But there are some special beings, like Moses, and like my Artika that keep us bringing these beautiful creatures back into our lives…so as you worry about Auggie, and as you will with Eli, I worry now about my Sage and Willow…I am not sure I will ever live without that bond and thrive with the joy my companions bring…..I miss you on Twitter and the wonderful stories of your boys as i understand the ups and downs with my girls…be well …I am so happy Auggie is better…he is a Prince…

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  38. I’m so glad Auggie is at home and healing. I’ve missed the day-to-day antics of the boys. I hope you consider coming onto Threads.

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  40. So happy that Auggie is better!

    Our time with our fur family members is never long enough. We must cherish the time we have with them.

    Hope you and your family have a lovely holiday season!!!

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  41. I am so glad for all of you! Beautiful Auggie is back home and living his best life with his buddy, Eli and his beloved mom and dad. Wonderful news! I wish you and yours a very happy Thanksgiving.

    Leslie

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

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  42. “Dogs lives are short, too short, but you know that going in. You know the pain is coming, you’re going to lose a dog, and there’s going to be great anguish, so you live fully in the moment with him, never fail to share his joy or delight in his innocence, because you can’t support the illusion that a dog can be your lifelong companion. There’s such beauty in the hard honesty of that, in accepting and giving love while always aware that it comes with an unbearable price. Maybe loving dogs is a way we do penance for all the other illusions we allow ourselves and the mistakes we make because of those illusions.”

    -Dean Koontz, The Darkest Evening of the Year

    Oh, J.F, you sound so traumatized by Auggie’s illness, anticipatory grief and your sad experiences with Moses. I’m so sorry for your pain.

    Warmest regards to you and Charlie, Auggie and Eli,

    Gerie

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  43. I’m tearing up even now because what happens to Auggie and Eli touches closely to my own experiences over the years. I’m sure it’s the same for most of your readers, and your beautiful writing brings it home. So happy for you all.

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